Last week, one of my male friends told me that one of my female friends was “too intense for a boyfriend.” He clarified, “it’s not that she’s not pretty, I think many people find her attractive … I just don’t think there are boys that she’s attracted to.” As a woman at Harvard, I was disappointed but not shocked to hear this statement, and I know for a fact that similar things have been said about me. Are men (and women) at Harvard afraid of strong women?
Today is Feminist Coming Out Day, as proclaimed by the Facebook portraits, pins, t-shirts and announcements you may have seen lately. Back after its inaugural year, the (now national) campus campaign coincides with the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day.
In front of an audience of over 50 undergrads, grad students, and community members at Ticknor Lounge, feminists shared spoken word and thoughts at “Feminist Coming Out Day: Portrait Project and Coffeehouse.” Supported by snaps and a safe space, attendees shared stories of sexism, conventional notions of beauty, racism, eating disorders, and empowerment. Organizers of the event challenged participants to finish the sentence, “I am a feminist because …” and responses ranged from a simple “women are equal” to eloquent poems linking the fight against sexism to fights against racism and imperialism.
“We intended for this to be a national movement,” said Abby Sun, co-founder of the campaign and co-chair of the Radcliffe Union of Students. Over 15 other campuses across the nation have set up similar “Feminist Coming Out Days,” challenging the notions of a “token feminist,” and redefining what it means to be a strong women / a supporter of strong women.
But to work, Feminist Coming Out Day needs to be a daily event. Facebook profile pictures, stickers, and t-shirts are nothing compared to honest conversations. Every day, we need to challenge our own and each others’ assumptions about gender and power.
Feminism is very much a national campus issue. Until we’re all okay with “intense,” decision-making women, and okay with empowering more women to live fulfilling lives and attain leadership positions, may every day be “Feminist Coming Out Day.”
Feminist Coming Out Day is a part of Women’s Week, which I will be blogging about in the coming days. See the full schedule of this week’s events here.