“Women can’t have it all.” “It’s impossible to have both a good family relationship, watch your children grow and be at the top of your career.” “We’re not hindered by men, just by our motherly instincts.” Pretty straight-forward. Anne-Marie Slaughter finally dared to speak the truth, and say what women around the world were too afraid to say.
And yet, the more I try to be rational and accepting of the simple facts, the less I like this idea. I’m bothered by the “women can’t have it all” notion because our “all” emphasizes a balance between the role of mother and the role of working woman. Whose priority is that? Because, frankly speaking, it isn’t mine.
Women of past generations have been trying to fit the perfect woman into this specific square – a stereotypical representation of our gender that will be free from the societal restraint, expertly balancing raising a family, a job and a perfect life. But didn’t they just create another unattainable standard for women? Just another stereotype? And who said that’s the standard we should aspire to, anyway? I am not speaking on behalf of all women, not even on behalf of the majority. But why must women always sacrifice their careers? Because we have motherly instincts? Or because this is how we were raised? Our lives go through a cycle: grow up, go to school, marry and have children. It seems like we are just checking things off an outdated list.
Slaughter makes a great point, but she represents another generation of women, other ideals. To paraphrase a friend of mine, perhaps the time has come to first find our role as individuals and human beings in society, and let gender roles and government policies come after.